Mom finds Togo

"How do I ask it a question?"

I suggested dad should tap around on the iPad for a few days after he got it, and see how much he could figure out on his own and then I would come by and go over anything he couldn't figure out.

As soon as I walked in, he had his questions ready – some stuff I had to figure out, not owning an iPad myself. As soon as Dad got up and left the room for a few minutes, Mom was, "okay, I want you to show me something"

Really? This is four days after she wouldn't even touch it. Okay.

So she wanted to know how to start an e-mail, and I showed her how the addresses in your records automatically pop up when you begin to type them in the TO: field. Cool.

Then she asks - how do I ask a question?

Me - Huh? You type it in the e-mail and send it.

Mom - no, not in e-mail. How do I ask it a question?

Me - it?

Mom - the iPad, how do I ask it something?

Me - Ohhh – you want to look something up online.

Mom - well, whatever, I don't care what it's called, I just want to find something out.

Me - Okay. What do you want to find out?

Mom - I want to know where Togo is.

Well, alright then.

My dad the hacker

"I don't think I should be able to see that"

We gave dad the iPad on the occasion of his 73rd birthday, a Saturday, so with dinner and cake and all, there wasn't a lot of time to conduct a thorough tutorial.

I chose the iPad for a few reasons. First, since the stroke, dad has the use of only one hand so a touchscreen just made sense. And I felt it would be a less intimidating device for an old person because it essentially only has one button and doesn't feel like a fragile thing you could easily break. Finally, I'm most comfortable on a Mac and knew I'd have to teach and troubleshoot.

I got it a few days before his birthday and used it one handed myself, setting up an e-mail account, downloading apps I thought they'd use and enjoy, organized the desktop and even set up a facebook account and got relatives and friends to friend them.

He seemed pretty enthusiastic about it - mom, on the other hand didn't even want to touch it.

I showed him the basics - how to access e-mail and get online, how to enlarge what he's looking at and how to get back to home base. We agreed that I'd come back later in the week to show him more, but in the meantime encouraged him to tap around and see what the thing does. I assured him and mom that they simply could not screw it up because the whole thing lives online.

On Tuesday evening I was working late, my partner phones me and suggests that I call in and check our messages. I don't think they intended to leave a message. I'm pretty sure they'd called and were in process of hanging up but the answering machine kicked in. The message went something like this:

Dad - ...she's the one who said we couldn't screw anything up...
Mom - Well, I don't know Ken!
Click.

Oh oh. I called them back and asked how things were going.

Dad - Oh not too bad. We're kinda figuring it out. But I got an e-mail from your cousin Alicia and I don't know what I did but I think I somehow got into her e-mail.

Me - What?

Dad - Yeah, I could see her messages.

Me - Dad, there's no way you could have -

Dad - No, no, really, I could see messages TO Alicia from other people.

(it dawns on me)

Me - Ohhhh. Dad you were looking at her facebook page. I forgot to show you that.

Now. Imagine having to explain facebook to a 73 year old who has suffered a stroke and has never been online before. Good times.

An iPad would be perfect for dad

The back story

Just over a year ago my able bodied, active, country living 72 year old father had a massive stroke which paralyzed the left side of his body.

Just over year later, everything has changed for he and my mother.

They now live in a small 55+ apartment in the city, after having spent their lives in a large three bedroom house on a sprawling property in a rural area. Then there's the shop. My dad's huge garage where he spent most of waking hours tinkering with (but never completing) no end of projects. And hosting visitors who would drop by to shoot the breeze and drink beer.

He hunted and guided visiting hunters. He fished and fixed things. He wandered in the bush picking blueberries and mushrooms in their season. He mowed the huge lawn and the field behind it summer, and plowed people out of their snowed in yards with his CAT in winter. That was his life. Then the stroke took it all away.

Now he watches TV. Obsessively. My brother and I and our partners have cast about for other things to engage him, games, books, but nothing can replace the life he lost.

Since the stroke he has also suffered a couple of major seizures, a potential side effect, that are devastating and erode much of the progress he has made. He will never really recover, and on the one year anniversary of his stroke, I think he finally realized that and it hit him hard. He began backsliding in his physiotherapy and descending into morose.

So I bought him an iPad. A 73-year old stroke victim with diminished capacity who has never been on the Internet in his life.

This should be fun.